Confession Letters

No matter how you say it, it’s the same:

New International Version (©1984) But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.New Living Translation (©2007) But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed. English Standard Version (©2001) But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed. New American Standard Bible (©1995) But He was pierced through for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; The chastening for our well-being fell upon Him, And by His scourging we are healed. GOD’S WORD® Translation (©1995) He was wounded for our rebellious acts. He was crushed for our sins. He was punished so that we could have peace, and we received healing from his wounds. King James Bible But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. American King James Version But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was on him; and with his stripes we are healed. American Standard Version But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. Bible in Basic English But it was for our sins he was wounded, and for our evil doings he was crushed: he took the punishment by which we have peace, and by his wounds we are made well. Douay-Rheims Bible But he was wounded for our iniquities, he was bruised for our sins: the chastisement of our peace was upon him, and by his bruises we are healed. Darby Bible Translation But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement of our peace was upon him, and with his stripes we are healed. English Revised Version But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. Webster’s Bible Translation But he was wounded for our transgression, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. World English Bible But he was pierced for our transgressions. He was crushed for our iniquities. The punishment that brought our peace was on him; and by his wounds we are healed. Young’s Literal Translation And he is pierced for our transgressions, Bruised for our iniquities, The chastisement of our peace is on him, And by his bruise there is healing to us.

Every translation says the same thing, that Christ died for us and through His pain and suffering, we are healed. Many times, I have seen people go forward, have hands layed on them, prayer spoken over them and they walk away looking like they are healed and feeling better. Never have I personally experienced this — until yesterday that is. Thursday of last week I began having horrible allergies. Sneezing (literally) 20 times in a row non-stop, being congested in the head, the whole thing everyone suffers from in pollen season. On top of this, I’m asthmatic. So when I do get sick like this, I have to make sure I start taking a decongestant of some kind so it drains continuously and doesn’t settle. On Friday, I didn’t even have time to get to a store to get the decongestant before all of it had settled into my chest. I began to not be able to take a deep breath. When you take a deep breath, you accomplish this “up and over” feeling which in turn gives a sigh of relief. I couldn’t ever get that “up and over” feeling which petrifies me. Anyone who truly knows me knows my biggest fear is drowning or suffocating to death because of my breathing issue. So when this acts up — I begin to get nervous. By Friday night, the lack of being able to breath had escalated a little but not enough that I was completely off my rocker. Saturday morning I went to teach and had to use my inhaler three times within a 1 hour period. I felt like I was dieing, like someone had a plastic bag over my face and I was gasping for every last breath I could get. I went on with my day, heading to Powder Springs for a birthday lunch. I still couldn’t breathe but it was better than before. On the way home, I got exhaustingly tired all of a sudden, so much, I couldn’t keep my eyes open and was dozing behind the wheel. Then I experienced awful pain in the left side of my chest. When I got home, all I could do was just lay on my bed under the ceiling fan. I couldn’t muster up any energy to do anything. A friend of mine called and through conversation she told me I should go to the altar and receive prayer for what I was dealing with. I have never felt like this was okay for me to do. I always felt like it was selfish for me to go forward with what seemed like such a trivial prayer request (in the scheme of things) when some woman could be dieing of cancer and only have 3 days to live. Now that! Needs some prayer time! I understood what she was saying but didn’t think I could overcome feeling selfish. She made a comment to me that makes me laugh every time I think about it. She said, “Jade, honestly?! Do you think Jesus has a quota or something?” While the comment is simple, it’s packed with power. God’s time is infinite and what he chooses to answer or not answer, is NOT because of a limited amount of ability!

That night was horrible. I woke up continuously because I couldn’t take a breath… I was scared of suffocating in my sleep. Sunday morning, my husband and I went to church. The breathing was moderate at this point. As service started, I could feel it acting up again. My “window” of how much air I could take it was getting smaller and my chest was getting very tight. Like 2,000 pounds of bricks were laying on my lungs. I didn’t go forward the first time I had an opportunity to because I was scared. Scared of my selfishness, scared of even just the walk down the altar. As the pastor spoke his message, I took my right hand and laid it on my chest because it was tight. A second opportunity opened up for people to come down to the altar. NO ONE WAS GOING! I knew I had to go, my heart had dropped and was pumping out of my chest. (My signal from God to GO! lol) So I walked forward with my right hand still on my chest, inhaler in my left. I stood at the bottom of the stairs hoping that the pastor would see me and come down. He finally did and asked me what was wrong. I began to cry and all I could get out was, ” I can’t breathe.” He grabbed the anointing oil, placed some on my forehead and began to pray. I leaned into his hand and began praying for myself as well. Then I felt hands on my back and shoulders. Tears began to fall out of my eyes uncontrollably. My teeth began to clatter symmetrically as if to be words (see previous posts for definitions of this), and my hands began to burn and tingle with sensation. At the same time the pastor was saying he could feel the healing is when my hands were burning and tingling. It was as if God was sending HIS healing power through my very own hands! Amazing. That alone was worth going forward in my time of fear.

From that point forward to this very moment of writing this blog I have been pain-free. I can breathe, take deep breaths, have no chest pain at all!!! God TRULY granted me a miracle yesterday and  blessed me with an opportunity to testify on HIS behalf with what HE can do! The catch to it — sometimes you have to step out of your comfort zone to get it. Sometimes you have to take a step of faith to get it. If I hadn’t of gone forward I would have missed this. God help me if I had missed it. There is no telling what I would be dealing with today.

I was listening to some people tell me a story about how they were struggling with a decision “to do” or “not to do” something. Nothing overly serious, just going out for a few drinks to enjoy Cinco de Mayo. It’s an evening of celebration right? Why not? Well, they decided against it — just figured it wasn’t the best idea for them so they entered into a local restaurant (a casual one). With it being Cinco de Mayo, no one else was in this restaurant. Every table and booth was empty accept the booth they were sitting in. The waitress serving them kept trying to initiate an evening out for the celebration of this holiday but these people refused. In the midst of their meals, two young men walked in the restaurant in suits and ties. With the choice of every table and booth in the restaurant to sit down in, they chose to sit by these people. The waitress came to the table and asked why they were not out celebrating Cinco de Mayo? They replied, “because we represent Jesus Christ”.

You might be sitting here reading this saying, “ok… what is the big deal?” Here is the big deal.

We should always have an accountability partner in our lives. This person should be someone you trust and can be open enough in both bad and good decisions but someone you respect enough that when they tell you you have chosen something that’s a bad decision (or perhaps an ok decision but one that could be better) you are not offended. This is not set in stone, but I would always recommend someone of the same sex. A woman is going to understand a woman’s mind and a man will understand a man’s mind. Men and women can have very different shortcomings and things that cause them to stumble into temptation.

Based on having accountability partners pre-set in your life, this is the thought I had based on the story I had been told. HOW COOL IS IT THAT JESUS CHRIST WAS THEIR LITERAL PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER? Granted, Christ is in fact our accountability partner through scripture and through others figuratively; however, in a moment where these people chose against the option to have a few drinks, again, nothing that is a huge huge deal, but the better decision was to not have thought it at all. These men sitting next to this table was God’s way of holding these people accountable in their walk! But He did it first hand!!! Not through scripture, or the “coincidence” of crossing paths with someone, etc. He allowed these two men in their suits and ties to make a verbal stance so these people could hear it to remind them of what they stand for ALL the time and the decisions that should not even be questionable…THIS WAS SO NEAT TO ME! To think that your relationship with Christ is so intimate that He does this for you? That he sends a personal reminder? I mean honestly, who would not want a relationship so close that you were honored like that when you made the right decision to  not do something but their never should have been that battle to begin with?

After hearing the story, these people told me the situation made them think about how they should have been like those men in the suits and ties. Strong and unashamed and not influenced by the outside world. You can be IN the world but not OF the world. It takes a lot of strength and a lot of endurance and a lot of staying in the Word on your part but you also have to be willing to stand for the right things no matter WHAT or WHERE or WHO is around. Personally, I want to be a bridge from the secular side of music to bringing people to Christ for their salvation and redemption. Not everyone is made for that. Some are made for working inside the church, some are made for missions in foreign countries, some are made to witness within their place of employment, some are made for randomly making differences for people sleeping on a street, but we all have been made with a purpose. We have all been made with a reason in mind. I love music, I love to sing. It’s my God given talent and I intend on using it for HIS glorification. My dream and prayers currently are to have the opportunity to be IN the world but not OF the world which He is currently providing. I don’t have to sell my body to sell a ticket. I don’t have to wear booty shorts and a bikini top flopping everything around on stage to gain a fan base. I don’t have to sell myself short to obtain my dreams because I know that MY GOD – MY LORD IN SAVIOR can provide me with the desires of my heart because the state of my heart is not selfish. The state of my heart is driven by only one thing… How can I make a difference in the Lord’s family… the family that will reign with Him for 1000 years in HIS new heaven and earth?? Let’s put two and two together. How can I make a difference? Well what talents did He give me? Singing, creativity, performing, dancing, the ability to choreograph, the ability to create graphics, the ability and knowledge to share my testimony and experiences so that maybe, just maybe, someone will learn without having to go through it?  I admire Joyce Meyer because she is a woman who has been through much trial and error and is open about it. She shares her testimony as herself! Not what someone else expects her to be. What is great for one person doesn’t always work for someone else. There are ways of finding a balance in life and this is what I’m working towards. I am not unashamed for what I believe, think and share.

I strongly urge you to find someone to be that accountability partner for yourself. I also urge you to check your relationship with God. Are you close enough to Him that he sends PERSONAL reminders for you regarding your faith and standing strong in that faith with others?? Think about it…

I have wanted to blog for a few days now, but so many things have been running through my head on what to write about, I thought it more appropriate to wait until my mind had cleared a bit. God says, “The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray.” (I Peter 4:7) So by all means I was not going to do it! ha

It’s amazing when you listen – and I say listen in the most intimate terminology – how God leads you in the direction He wants you to go. Or perhaps for some people, such as myself, how listening gives you affirmation for the steps of faith you have recently taken blindly and perhaps a little fearfully in the fleshliness of ourselves. God says fear is not of Him – but the reality of it is we are human and we are going to get scared. The choice is whether or not you push through that fear and allow God His moment to work in you or whether you pass it up. (Which I would never suggest! haha)

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. – Philippians 4:6

I have made a lot of decisions in my spiritual and earthly life recently. Recently for me is beginning back in June of last year. (To get caught up please read my previous blogs). The decisions that I have had to make, I was nervous that they were not the right ones. I knew in my heart something had to change, but as far as what to do or what not to do, nothing of that sort is “cookie cut” for us. We have to make decisions that we feel are going to honor God, glorify Him and give Him reverence.  God will always guide us but only if you are willing to listen will you hear it. God is a gentleman! He doesn’t force anything upon us 🙂

“In a dream, for instance, a vision at night, when men and women are deep in sleep,fast asleep in their beds—God opens their ears and impresses them with warnings

To turn them back from something bad they’re planning, from some reckless choice,And keep them from an early grave, from the river of no return.” – Job 33:15-18

I can tell you I have experienced these warnings in my dreams. I have experienced a dream that was also warnings for others. When you take heed of the information God has given you and you put it into action as He has requested, the outcome is astonishing!! I could not believe my very eyes as I watched puzzle piece after puzzle piece come together over a few months time and the end result was a mirror image of my vision from the Lord.

In the last few months I have been blessed beyond belief. I have walked into a church where God has laid before me opportunity after opportunity to help witness and mold children into men and women of the Lord’s army. Not only has he given me these opportunities but he has also been giving me the desires of my heart. Things I have prayed for YEARS that are beginning to come true. I can look back and see a timeline that has started. If you are fortunate enough to experience this you will see the amazement I talk about. You will see the miracles that are performed in your life which makes you WANT to work harder at things, makes you WANT to strive to be that better Christian…

⁴ As for the deeds of men— by the word of your lips I have kept myself from the ways of the violent.⁵ My steps have held to your paths; my feet have not slipped.⁶ I call on you, O God, for you will answer me; give ear to me and hear my prayer. Psalms 17:4-6

Lastly, the people God has cross paths with yours is in perfect timing when you listen. If you are out of sync with what God’s plan is, like I was for the longest time… you meet people who you have these thoughts  of what could come out of meeting them, or you will find yourself saying, “Wow, wouldn’t it be cool if…” but it never happens because you are out of sync. God’s timing for a person to speak to you, or you to them, or for an opportunity to open up isn’t there because you have arrived too early or too late. When your clock is in sync with God’s clock, you run into that person at just the right moment where a conversation sparks and the rest is history! I have experienced this in the last few months. I have crossed paths with a certain woman who has touched me tremendously. And while she is guarded, and possibly for good reason, I can see how I am supposed to help her. I can also see how she is supposed to help me. This is not easy all the time because what needs to be helped is often full of pride (which we are not supposed to have but again we are human) but my heart has to be open to it. Why? Because there is a reason God has allowed us to cross paths.  My prayer is that she and I will have open hearts in those moments of truth and honesty. She is amazing and talented — a woman I am praying God allows to stick with me for the rest of my life. She and I are a lot alike which is something I can see God’s hand in.

Don’t shun yourself from things that God has placed in your life. Don’t be scared! Know that you can do all things no matter how tall the challenge might seem. And open your eyes to what God is doing for you. Most importantly, don’t rush HIS timing just because you think it should come sooner.

Be patient, then, brothers, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains. – James 5:7

I have always been the person to think abstractly enough and “put myself in the shoes of others”. I have also always been the type to support something even if I have never experienced it. This is my latest physical experience in my walk with Christ and my growing in the holiness of Christ. I had always heard from my mother, sister, grandmother and others who had had experiences in praying in tongues. Crazy? Yes, I thought the same thing; however, I did not “knock it” as being true. I, personally, had never experienced this. I knew the bible spoke of this gift and referred to it numerous times. How could something not exist if it was mentioned in the Bible directly? How could someone possibly suppress this when its directly spoken about by name?? I don’t see the wind, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. I have never seen the air I breathe, and yet, I breathe it every day keeping my body alive and kickin’…

1 Corinthians 12:27 (The Message)
You are Christ’s body—that’s who you are! You must never forget this. Only as you accept your part of that body does your “part” mean anything. You’re familiar with some of the parts that God has formed in his church, which is his “body”: apostles prophets teachers miracle workers healers helpers organizers those who pray in tongues. But it’s obvious by now, isn’t it, that Christ’s church is a complete Body and not a gigantic, unidimensional Part? It’s not all Apostle, not all Prophet, not all Miracle Worker, not all Healer, not all Prayer in Tongues, not all Interpreter of Tongues. And yet some of you keep competing for so-called “important” parts. But now I want to lay out a far better way for you.

1 Corinthians 14:1 (The Message)
[ Prayer Language ] Go after a life of love as if your life depended on it—because it does. Give yourselves to the gifts God gives you. Most of all, try to proclaim his truth. If you praise him in the private language of tongues, God understands you but no one else does, for you are sharing intimacies just between you and him. But when you proclaim his truth in everyday speech, you’re letting others in on the truth so that they can grow and be strong and experience his presence with you.

1 Corinthians 14:13 (The Message)
So, when you pray in your private prayer language, don’t hoard the experience for yourself. Pray for the insight and ability to bring others into that intimacy. If I pray in tongues, my spirit prays but my mind lies fallow, and all that intelligence is wasted. So what’s the solution? The answer is simple enough. Do both. I should be spiritually free and expressive as I pray, but I should also be thoughtful and mindful as I pray. I should sing with my spirit, and sing with my mind. If you give a blessing using your private prayer language, which no one else understands, how can some outsider who has just shown up and has no idea what’s going on know when to say “Amen”? Your blessing might be beautiful, but you have very effectively cut that person out of it.

1 Corinthians 14:26 (The Message)
So here’s what I want you to do. When you gather for worship, each one of you be prepared with something that will be useful for all: Sing a hymn, teach a lesson, tell a story, lead a prayer, provide an insight. If prayers are offered in tongues, two or three’s the limit, and then only if someone is present who can interpret what you’re saying. Otherwise, keep it between God and yourself. And no more than two or three speakers at a meeting, with the rest of you listening and taking it to heart. Take your turn, no one person taking over. Then each speaker gets a chance to say something special from God, and you all learn from each other. If you choose to speak, you’re also responsible for how and when you speak. When we worship the right way, God doesn’t stir us up into confusion; he brings us into harmony. This goes for all the churches—no exceptions.

But again, I had never personally experienced it. I was not against the idea of it by any means. Recently, I was at a new church sitting in an evening service. The pastor was preaching on “the baptism of the Holy Ghost”. Immediately, I folded my arms in disinterest of hearing what was being said. But secretly, I wanted to experience what he was talking about. While I had never had anything against this gift, now that it was resting on my heart to experience it, to be open to it, I was petrified. I had my eyes closed and the pastor said to say in prayer to myself (speaking to the congregation) “Lord, I want to experience the Holy Ghost”. I began to repeat these words. Tears poured from my eyes like rivers of water, uncontrollably I wept and wept and wept. The pastor said, “I know someone in here is wanting to experience this, to be given this gift”… “if I could grab this person I would, but the Lord won’t allow me.” I said in my mind, “God, I wish he would just come get me, then I would have to do it and get over this fear.” (Let me make this clear at this point — this pastor knew NOTHING of what I was going through or how I felt towards this gift.) After saying those words to myself, my eyes opened to a man sitting next to me saying, “you’re scared aren’t you?” It was the pastor! God had heard me and there he was calling me out!! lol I answered “yes” as he began to pray for me. A female also prayed with me, my sister prayed with me placing their hands on my back and my shoulders. I prayed continuously for the Holy Ghost to fill me up, to be able to experience this amazing gift they were talking about. I was asked to stand up and lift my hands, so I did. The pit of my stomach  began to burn intensely. The burning sensation began to slowly move upward from my stomach, into my chest, into my throat and then sat at the back of my throat while my jaws began chattering away as if it were 20 degrees in that room. (Which it was not). The feeling was like no other I had ever experienced. It lasted for at least 10 minutes. My tears continued to come until my jaws started chattering. When my jaws stopped, the tears began again. I believe with all my heart I experienced an the first of a Holy Ghost filled experience. I am praying for the release of the fear I have held regarding this gift because for those 10 minutes my life was completely different. I was the closest I had ever felt to God and his presence was spiritually and physically all over me. I could feel it! I learned this day that there is no way to experience something like this if you are close minded to it. You have to open your mind to the ability of the Holy Ghost and all it can do just like those at Pentecost were. (Read Acts 2:1-4, Acts 10:46, Acts 19:6 and surrounding verses)

I’m praying for the continued gift to become part of me 100%. I want this gift. I want to experience it again, but Lord willing further of an experience. I want what was in my throat to come out. To hear others speak — it’s beautiful. A language that only the Lord could create that is so gorgeous. I pray Lord, please grant me with the filling of your Holy Ghost!