Author: Jade Getchell

I have read many articles and listened to many speakers regarding this subject. A marriage blog titled “3 Things Women Want From Their Husbands” came up in my Facebook feed this morning so I read it. I decided to share their three things but added a fourth one of my own to the mix. 

Positivity | Security | Appreciation | Sexual & Nonsexual Affection (not necessarily in this order)

1. Positivity. Cynicism and sarcasm have their place, but nobody wants to be with someone who is sarcastic and cynical all of the time. It’s exhausting. Being in the presence of someone with a positive outlook on life can actually be energizing. An optimistic husband makes his wife feel good and that positivity is contagious, even inspiring. (From blog on http://www.marriage365.org)

2. Security. A woman will feel safe with a man who is emotionally available, honest, trustworthy, and authentic. These are emotional character strengths she can respect and admire in her husband. A man of character and emotional depth is a man who knows who he is and likes himself. His strength is not physical so much as it is in the clarity of his mind and emotions. These are character strengths that a wife not only admires, but feels safe with. He is not a weak man that will bend to the whims of other people. She can trust him to be who he is. (From blog on http://www.marriage365.org)

3. Appreciation. All women want to feel appreciated. Women manage a lot on a day to day basis and don’t get a lot of credit. A statement such as, “Hey babe, thanks for making dinner tonight. I really appreciate it,” shows consideration and shows you don’t take your wife for granted. An honest thank you is worth a thousand words. Remember that your words are life giving to those around you. (From blog on http://www.marriage365.org)

I would add a fourth item to this list. Sexual/Nonsexual affection. Men have the reputation for being the one on the marriage who desire this but women desire to feel beautiful, wanted, and desires just as much as a man does. In fact, I have known marriages where the stereotypical marriage was not present and the wife had a stronger desire than the husband. Sexual affection is far different than nonsexual affection. This is why it’s important to have both. 

Sexual affection lets a wife know she is sexy/desired, that SHE is her husband’s fantasy, and she is all he needs to fulfill his desires. Nonsexual affection lets a wife know her husband loves her, is thinking about her, appreciates her, and is in love with her. 
[Yes, “loving” someone and being “in love” with someone are two completely different things. This is another subject for another day.] 

These things are vital. They might as well be air, food, and water for a marriage. When you are not receiving these things it is easy to begin thinking negative thoughts regarding your marriage. This is why open communication is so important so both spouses are on the same page. 

What does the Bible say about our marriage relationship?

“Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.“ (Genesis 2:25) // we should be physically comfortable with each other naked and we should be emotionally vulnerable with each other

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” (Romans 12:2) // do not set the standards of your marriage based on this world, ask God to show you (and change you if needed) to meet the standards He has set for marriage

“Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8) // marriage is not going to be perfect, so don’t expect it to be and love your spouse through working through it

“But the man who commits adultery is an utter fool, for he destroys himself.” (Proverbs 6:32) // male or female, you hurt your spouse and yourself, this is not only physical affairs, emotional affairs break trust and build walls too

“I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5:28) // mental monogamy is as important as physical monogamy for both genders 

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.” (Philippians 4:6) // what better advice than this, pray through it all and trust God continuously, marriage is not a perfect ride but it will be much, much easier with Him

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (Ephesians 5:21) // respect each other and places their needs before yours, what is important to your spouse should be important to you

“For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.” (Ephesians 5:25) // this verse has a pretty high standard, husbands have a standard to reach here but wives have a standard of how we are to respond to Christ, therefore responding to our husband

1 Corinthians 13 // get your pencil out and start checking things off the list

“Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:32) // be sensitive and tender hearted to each other

For more detail on these scriptures click here. 

It’s been a while since I have blogged. A lot has happen in the last six months:

I am now a published author! You can purchase the book here or here.Jade Getchell is one contributing author in “Wounded Healers.” Twelve women boldly take us deep into the events that led them through the pitfalls and the heartaches during the darkest days of their life… The stories are raw, transparent, personal and, at times, gut-wrenching.Each narrative paints a vivid picture of their triumph and victory in finding faith and how it changed the course of their lives and the lives of their families.

These courageous women offer stories that are real and relatable. Moreover, they will inspire and challenge you to honestly assess every aspect of your life.

The royalties from your purchase of this publication will go to Freedom Service Dogs of America. A non-profit organization that all twelve authors agreed to support wholeheartly.  The specially trained dogs enhance the lives of people in many communities.  “Clients include children, veterans and active duty military, and other adults. Their disabilities include autism, traumatic brain injury, cerebral palsy, spinal cord injuries, muscular dystrophy, multiple sclerosis, and post-traumatic stress disorder.”

I am expecting! That’s right, we are going to be having a little girl in a few short weeks. God is SUCH a good God that HE has not only made a way for me to be home with our oldest child since last June, He has provided everything we needed since then and more. As of today, I am 34 weeks, going on 35 weeks pregnant. I can’t wait for this sweet little girl to get here.

God has also brought me through some extreme situations and taught me to lean on Him even more. Sometimes it seems like I hit a situation that I just can’t imagine getting through – and yet I do. This was some of those moments. Moments only God and I will ever know about but moments I know have made me stronger. If God ever presses me to, I will share these moments with the open world, but for now, they remain quiet.

My goal is to blog more often, but with a new baby on the way – no promises! (haha). I hope you will support the book and the non-profit it supports. Any opportunity to change lives for Jesus is one that is worth it!

Tonight, I sit here a little overwhelmed with what life is throwing at me right now. If I am being honest, I also thinking about how hard obedience to God can be – and how the deeper I go the harder it seems to become in some areas. Having walked with God for a while now, I know in my heart how worth it the obedience is; however, my head tends to try and think something different. [oh, the importance of making sure our head and heart are aligned with scripture.]

Today, I broke down. Tears streaming down my face because of some personal struggles I am going through. Even those of us who seem to never let anything bother us have days where you just sort of hit bottom. Maybe, even a pity party. Just depends on what sort of party favors are laying around. 🙂

I happen to be with my sister when this episode happen. She fed me kind words and tried to help me through my “moment” but it didn’t help. The reason it didn’t help? The struggles are in my mind. It’s not something, like alcohol, where I just don’t go to a bar. They are struggles that have a root problem you can’t avoid.

I left her house and drove towards Hiram to meet my husband. All in all, I had a 35 minute drive just sitting and thinking. “Break Every Chain” was playing in the background. My daughter and I had listened to this song over and over the day before in preparation for our upcoming Sunday at church. Holy Spirit reminded me of what had taken place yesterday afternoon:

On Monday afternoon the song was playing for (what seemed like) the 15th time. Kait said, “Mommy, watch me dance!” as she danced the  best she could while singing the first few lines of the song and sitting in a carseat.

“There is power in the name of Jesus, There is power in the name of Jesus, There is power in the name of Jesus…” she sang as passionately as she could.

Then she blew my mind. She sang the words “to break every chain, break every chain, break every chain.” as she pointed to her mind. WOW. First of all that my child hears and sees so clearly at 4-years-old; but secondly, to see what the Holy Spirit was showing me…

Now I focus on breaking those chains by worshipping, studying, and getting loved on by Jesus! My struggles do not define me. They are not what disqualifies me. They do not name me, categorize me, or brand me in anyway. Being a child of the most HIGH GOD does all of those things – and to my benefit. It doesn’t mean I won’t struggle or have bad days. What it means is He is with me every step of the way and will see me through. Even when I don’t want to see myself through.

#knowyourworth #knowwhoyouare #straightenyourcrown

Galatians 5:1  “For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to the yoke of slavery.”

2 Corinthians 3:17 “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”