I feel like a mad woman right now. So many things are running through my mind and I feel overwhelmed in how to handle so many things. Not pregnant, when I get to this point I normally sit, cry it out, then get refocused on what is at hand. Being pregnant, everything is a tad more emotional and difficult to deal with. Regardless of the amount of tears though, it has to be dealt with in the same way. And how exactly is that?
It’s not easy. It’s not always quick. It is efficient. It is the best advice you will ever receive. Understanding it may take some time. Understanding His reasoning may take some time. The hardest thing about being a Christian for me is sometimes accepting I REALLY DON’T have to know WHY. My human nature wants to know WHY. I should have enough faith in God to know He will handle any situation around me if I’m walking with Him. Doesn’t mean I’m perfect and don’t mess up myself – that’s where His grace comes in and grants me forgiveness. It’s in the times when we purposely choose to walk away from Him or ignore Him I think He lets us fall. Maybe trying to get our attention or maybe just a consequence of our own actions (or lack of). Regardless, we have to have HIM to succeed eternally. All the accomplishments in the world won’t matter when we die. You will go to heaven or hell WITHOUT your money, your job, your status, your toys, your earthly body. Cherish the people around you and the opportunities God opens up for you (whether to give or receive). Paul speaks of what “love” really is in a long, descriptive and specific list:
Love is: patient, kind, doesn’t envy, doesn’t boast, isn’t proud, doesn’t dishonor others, isn’t self-seeking, not easily angered, keeps no scorecard of wrongs, doesn’t delight in evil, rejoices in truth, always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres, never fails.
If you need it more specific than that, I can’t help you, ha ha. I fall into many of these and I’m sure you do to. It’s important to know YOU WILL trip up and fail in one of these areas… we are human! How you handle it is more important I think. Apologize when you hurt someone. Figure out why you don’t love someone and work on it. If someone has done you wrong in the past don’t hold it over their heads… because they are human too… and have moments of weakness just like you.
For my situations bothering me? I put myself in the same shoes as you. I walk the same road of worry, anger, fear, confusion and not wanting to care. But we are built differently than that. We are built better than that. You do care whether you want to admit it or not. Drop the pride and allow God to filter into your heart. Trust me when I say, I’m going through the same thing. God told me to do something regarding a situation in my life – so I did. I knew nothing would be reciprocated; however, I did expect to be acted towards differently. Nothing really changed… and it broke my heart. But I was obedient regardless and I know God is proud of me for that. There have been other times God has told me to do something and I didn’t because I was too angry or upset in that situation. I was wrong for my disobedience and should have acted on what He told me to do. When the definition of “love” says doesn’t keep scorecards of wrongs – I personally – think that can be translated into not keeping scorecards of rights also. Many people do this and if we keep any sort of scorecard it’s not going to benefit us, only drive our human nature in the wrong direction.