All of us see attributes in people we want. Superficially, we always say, “I want her hair” or “I want to look like him”. The truth is – God made us the way we are and that’s all there is to it. You can “tweak” your hair color with dye, eye color with contacts, body with exercise, but your hair is still brown, your eye color is still blue and your body is still pear-shaped no matter what.
Spiritually, God has given us all a calling. Our job is to fulfill that calling to the best of our ability. I have always known what my calling is but recently I found myself praying for a different one. Why? Probably because it was intriguing, because I was measuring “how close to God I was” by comparing myself with someone else and their gifts. This is far from the truth of things.
Someone close to me has the calling of being a prayer warrior. She sees visions, speaks with God, walks with Him, ascends to heaven, has recently fully stepped into her commission to heal. Even though I knew my calling, I began diligently praying for visions and the outward appearance of her prayer life with the evidence of tongues, uncontrollable movement and passion. Then, in a recent church service it hit me. I wasn’t being obedient. There is nothing wrong with me praying for a better prayer life (which only comes with practice) – but I had to understand my calling was not her calling and vice versa. My calling is MY calling. Her calling is HER calling. It takes many different people with many different callings to reach the many different people in our communities.
You can’t compare where you are spiritually against someone else’s gifts and outward appearances either. Because I don’t shout aloud in prayer tongues doesn’t mean I am any less to God and it doesn’t mean she is anymore. Because she doesn’t sing like I do, doesn’t mean I’m closer to God than her and she is less.
My calling is to lead worship. My time needs to be spent studying, praying and seeking Him to learn all He has to show me for MY gift… not someone else’s. God spoke very clearly saying what I was praying for is not what He has called me to do for Him. Now that I’m not wishing it away – studying, praying and learning has gone to a new level for me. I’m excited to study about worship, learn how others worship, the ways God desires for us to worship Him, what we attain through it, how to get into a thin place of intimacy with Him… its fabulous stuff!
My point in this blog, whatever your calling embrace it. Study it. Learn it. When you are obedient, God will bless you for it. When you are obedient, God opens doors no man can shut. He is opening doors for me and I’m siked!!!!!!!!!!!!
Confession Letters 
That’s interesting. What do you think of Darwin’s calling and of his great discoveries that were against everything he himself believed in? (On text, tone can be harder to express, so I just want to add that it’s pure curiosity that drives me).
So many stay-at-home Momma’s are guilty of this. We get to seeing the world spinning around us outside our home and feel we must jump into it or we’ll get left behind. Many family members have told me that I am “Too smart to just stay at home”. Thanks…I think? Who better than to raise my children then? THIS is my calling. Motherhood is my calling. God has called me to stay at home and train these children in the way that they should go. One day my four children (and more if the Lord so chooses to bless me with more) are going to be mighty warriors for God and they wouldn’t be ready to step into their callings without me first being obedient to mine and keeping my happy hiney at home! 😉 Thanks for sharing so openly and honestly about the Lord’s dealings with you. I enjoy reading your blog.