Sincerely Disappointed

Nothing feels worse to me than when someone lets you down. Of course that subject can span many other details including lieing, cheating, abandonment, and countless others. As people, we try hard to do what we can to gain trust and accountability with others which in turn builds friendships and relationships. I’m dealing with this as we speak. I have tried so hard to try and ignore the signs but I just can’t anymore. It breaks my heart to know that what I see on my end of the relationship is either (1) not what this other person sees or (2) not what this person is choosing to see. I’m not sure where the “line” is that separates the two options but it exists nonetheless. I think I would rather someone choose option (1) than to know they are ON PURPOSE choosing to act the way they are. At least if it’s option (1), you can talk about it and fix it. (Lord Willing!)

But what happens when they are choosing option (2)? Do I let this person go and relinquish any relationship I have with them? Do I choose option (2) as well and just “choose to ignore” what is happening and just not build any further on this relationship? Or do I add an option (3)… Have a conversation with this person (call them on the carpet if you will) and then leave it in their hands to decide the fate of this relationship.

I’m really heartbroken over this. My heart just wants to cry and scream because of the surrounding details and the position it has left me in. The details of this relationship are so inner woven in my life it makes things even harder. I know the first thing I must do is ask for forgiveness for the bitterness I hold. It’s not easy by any means. In fact, I really don’t want to… but I must. God says in 1 Kings 8:50:

“And forgive Your people, who have sinned against You, and all their transgressions against You, and grant them compassion before those who took them captive, that they may have pity and be merciful to them…”

If we go on to read in scripture it even addresses the mere THOUGHTS I think about this person, not only what is said verbally: “Behold my affliction and my pain and forgive all my sins [of thinking and doing].” – Psalm 25:18 (Amplified Version) This speaks more than anything to me because it’s so easy to get thoughts in my head and work myself up about things.

After my bitterness is under control I know it’s time for some deep seeded prayer. Maybe that is all I can do in the end? Regardless of how things turn out – I have to know BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DOUBT – I handled everything correctly as God would see fit. If I meet that requirement, everything else will play out accordingly.

“Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.”- Philippians 4:6-7


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