I can’t get used to sitting down and pouring out my heart and soul to people I will probably never meet. It’s a challenge every time but it’s one I am willing to take on head first because I have a purpose in doing all of this. Let me begin by explaining this.
Here is my timeline to help this breakdown a little easier 🙂
Summer of ’09: Two different people tell me I will have to step down from singing in the praise band at Life’s Hope Baptist Church. These two people have never met, never talked, never crossed paths in their entire life. Needless to say, I didn’t believe them at all. This was my home, my passion and my gift from God.
May/June ’09: I had continuously had urges to raise my hand in praise when I sang. Not many people at my current church did this so I always felt out-of-place to go through with doing it. I began to somewhat lift my hand with my elbow stuck to my side. Around this time, I had a huge breakthrough!! I raised my hand not caring what anyone else had to say to me because I was praising the Lord my God! I had reached a new level in my spiritual growth.
June/July ’09: I began to feel the tug to step down out of the praise band. This is a long story which is written in a previous blog if you want to know the entire story. Ultimately, I fought the notion. I didn’t understand why He would ask me to do such a thing.
October ’09: We had moved into our new house. My husband was working nights and I was petrified to stay home alone. One night I experienced a petrifying ordeal that no one should ever have to go through. I won’t share details of this at this point but if you want to know, just ask, I’ll be more than happy to. The next morning I heard an entity for the first time. I had always seen them, but never heard. It was ear-piercing and spine chilling. That afternoon, my sister, her mother-in-law and myself walked through the house anointing it. After this was done, all of us began talking. My sister’s mother-in-law said she had something the Lord had told her to remind me of but wasn’t sure when she was supposed to tell me. (She said she knew she was supposed to say something for months but was waiting for the right time to present itself). She decided to tell me at this point. She asked me if I remembered visiting a church with them in Dallas, GA and if I remembered going down to the altar. I had no recollection of this at all. She said I went down and the pastor said, “God wants to know if you love Him?” I said yes supposedly and the pastor then said, “Then feed His sheep.” She said God had asked her to remind me that I needed to feed His sheep and that I would go through a very humbling experience. Of course, I was lost at this point. Where did this leave me? What was I supposed to do with this information? After they left, I sat down and looked up “sheep” in the concordance of my bible. I ended up being pulled to scripture in 1 Peter and Ephesians. Two scriptures dealt with feeding His sheep and other two dealt with leadership and church. I won’t continue on with this part but when you listen to scripture that God brings you to, it’s amazing how puzzle pieces begin to fit together!
December ’09: I finally made a decision to listen and resign from my position in the praise band. It was hard for me to do, painful for me to walk away but I knew I had too. There was a reason regardless if I understood it or not. My job was not to understand what was happening but to act out of obedience. The humbling experience was definitely this one. Not humbling in the sense of I was singing for the wrong reasons, but humbling in the sense of just because I think I am where I’m supposed to be doesn’t mean I am. You have to listen for His guidance and not question it. I had questioned it for 5 – 6 months at this point. While doing so my spiritual life was stagnant. As soon as I listened, it began flowing again and flowed directly into a new season.
Out of all of this timeline, I began this “Feed His Sheep” blog. I wasn’t sure how to go about doing that (feeding His sheep that is) so I thought what better way than to share my experiences with supporting scripture and how He has taught me. Maybe it would touch someone through His direction, maybe it wouldn’t. All I knew was I had stuff to say and orders to do it. lol
I have gotten into my jeep the past few days to hear Joyce Meyer on the radio. She is going through Battlefield of the Mind. Amazing study so far. When I hear things two and three times I realize it’s God trying to get my attention! I should listen! She was discussing each time how what you let into your mind affects everything around you. Your attitude towards things affect everything around you. To clear out negative thoughts and if you are not strong enough to just clear them from your mind, verbally speak something positive. It helps to flush it out 🙂 I do a pretty good job of keeping a clear mind for the most part but I am human and not perfect. I can do this very well when it’s outside of my bubble, but as soon as life is altered inside my bubble I can’t handle it.
Matthew 5:8 You’re blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.
When my inner circle is breached by Satan it’s all I can do to stay focused.
Proverbs 14:30 A sound mind makes for a robust body, but runaway emotions corrode the bones.
Proverbs 18:20 Words satisfy the mind as much as fruit does the stomach; good talk is as gratifying as a good harvest.
Recently, I have experienced Satan trying to pervert situations with someone very close to me. I would notice myself getting angry at that person and wanting to fight and argue but then I would try not to — trying to keep my mind clear. All of a sudden it hit me like a ton of bricks — that person very close to me was going through the same thing I was. Satan was perverting things for them just like he was doing to me. In turn, he was turning us against each other instead of us standing tall together in Christ. (Romans 7:25 The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.) All I can do is pray for the person close to me. Something like this you can tell in words to someone all day long but until they are ready to see if for themselves there is nothing you can do but pray. So I did that. I prayed for clarity for both of us and I prayed for God’s light to shine through and rebuked Satan in the blood of Jesus Christ!!!!!!!! (Ephesians 4:23: 23and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind)
2 Peter 3:1 My dear friends, this is now the second time I’ve written to you, both letters reminders to hold your minds in a state of undistracted attention.
Romans 8:6 For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace.
1 Corinthians 2:16 For who has known the mind of the Lord, that he will instruct him? But we have the mind of Christ.
Romans 15:5 Now may the God who gives perseverance and encouragement grant you to be of the same mind with one another according to Christ Jesus.
A very wise lesson is in Proverbs 19: 8 Grow a wise heart—you’ll do yourself a favor; keep a clear head—you’ll find a good life. 9 The person who tells lies gets caught; the person who spreads rumors is ruined. 10 Blockheads shouldn’t live on easy street any more than workers should give orders to their boss. 11 Smart people know how to hold their tongue; their grandeur is to forgive and forget.