This is going to be sort of confusing, so please try to stick with reading this. What I am getting ready to write is quite a cluster in my own brain much less attempting to put it down on paper…
In June or July of last year, my husband sent an application in for a Marshall position available with Paulding Co. In August, he received a letter stating his request for the physical testing a few days from receiving the letter. He took the test, passed and received an interview. He went to the interview process in October I believe, and ended up being 2nd pick for the position. He was told only one position was available; however, they were attempting to get funding for a second position and if they got it, they would call him. In December, the Marshall Bureau called and told him, a position looked to be opening up, did he still want it? Of course, he said yes! As of this morning my husband and I had been waiting on a phone call confirming the Marshall position with Paulding Co. Well, this morning they called to tell him he did not get the job because they found “reoccurring things” in his application.
Now, I could take this blog in a completely different direction with that last comment, but that isn’t the focus of this blog by any means.
I began to get mad. I had prayed diligently and believing (Matthew 21:22
“And all things you ask in prayer, believing you will receive.”) that the Lord would bless my husband with this position, that he would give him the desires of his heart. (Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the LORD;And He will give you the desires of your heart.) His desires were not selfish, or harmful, but rather a step in life to better himself and his family. I debated this morning with my mother on why should I pray “believing” if ultimately it’s God’s will anyways that transpires?? Why pray that way if God knows all along what is going to happen? I can just pray “in your will be done”… and leave it at
that? I was lost. Angry. Felt cheated. I had done what God said to do and yet it didn’t happen. God says, “Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock, and it will be opened to you” – Matthew 7:7. If this was the case then why wasn’t it happening?
I left to pick up lunch for the office and as I was backing out of the parking space, (randomly) the reason popped in my head! God did have the Marshall position as a blessing for us originally. But a new test had been given to us, and because we passed it, through obedience, faith and/or love, we now have a new blessing in store for us. One that is more of a blessing than the Marshall position. If God had given us the Marshall position, he would have been locked into at least a two year contract — which in turn — we might not have been able to receive the larger blessing for being faithful and obedient.
I know it’s hard to follow, like I said, it’s cluttered in my mind too, but I know what I mean, so I hope I conveyed it correctly. God is always testing us. Its passing those tests that allows us richer blessings than we could ever dream. While we can’t see past tomorrow, God sees far into our future even to our death. But we have choices and free will in our life. By choosing to be obedient and faithful in all things, God is able to bestow the blessings he wants to give us. If we don’t make those decisions so wisely, he won’t reward us as he wants to.
2 Corinthians 9:8
God can pour on the blessings in astonishing ways so that you’re ready for anything and everything, more than just ready to do what needs to be done. As one psalmist puts it, He throws caution to the winds, giving to the needy in reckless abandon. His right-living, right-giving ways never run out, never wear out. This most generous God who gives seed to the farmer that becomes bread for your meals is more than extravagant with you. He gives you something you can then give away, which grows into full-formed lives, robust in God, wealthy in every way, so that you can be generous in every way, producing with us great praise to God.
Confession Letters 